Let’s face it, we are all different. We are put on this earth to socialize. This often means trying to find that special one that you can drive crazy for the rest of your life. You know, the one that you can feel butterflies with everyday. The first step is trying to find that person. Once you set your eyes on that special person, it’s time to see if it works. Welcome to the dating process. It’s your chance to get dolled up and show your best. Find out if this person is the one or just a great person for someone else. It can be exciting but also nerve racking, especially if you don’t know what to do. We all want to put our best foot forward and impress. What to do if you’re a little socially awkward and shy. We all know part of dating is conversation. It’s a way to get to know a person. See if there are sparks. The road to the sparks is the conversation. 

If this is your first time dating or have trouble with conversation look no further. My purpose is to draw out your personality and make your dating process a memorable process. I want you to meet that special someone and have an amazing life ahead. I want you to enjoy the process and socialize! There is someone out there for you, let’s try to get you to connect! I want you to have amazing skills that not only translate into the dating process but your overall social life as well (work, recreation, and personal life). 

If you’re an introvert like me, you like to keep to yourself. You’re social but it takes time to warm up to a person. In my line of work and social life, I am more of an extrovert. Although this is the case, I can’t wait to have time to myself. I want to help those who are shy, reserved and quiet. If you’re, I want you to be comfortable in conversation. You don’t have to be wild or extravagant, I want to draw out your inner self. The key is to be yourself. Why? You don’t want to steer your date the wrong way. If you try to be someone you’re not, then it will fail. You don’t want to hold up a false identity. What if things end up going further (turns into a relationship) and your partner notices you have changed? Worst of all, they don’t like this change. You don’t want to end up losing a good one. Be upfront with your date. Let them know who you are, get to know them. So if things do end up going further, there are no surprises.  

Good Conversation, What Are You Talking About? 

As the road to a good date is conversation, I want to give you some preparation for it. It all starts with questions. The purpose is to get to know your date and see if there is a connection. Draw out their personality and share a mutual interest. Making each other laugh is essential. I am not expecting you to be Martin Lawrenece, Goldie Hawn or Chevy Chase on the date, just bring some life to it. Nothing is better than laughter. I am a natural goofball, so my interactions always involve making someone laugh. If you ever interacted with me, you can’t tell I am an introvert. I always bring a sense of humor, it just comes naturally. I want to draw out your inner personality for your date(s). I want you to have fun and interesting dates, nothing boring. It all derives from conversation, body language and showing your natural personality. This combo alone, you will have an amazing dating life! 

Body Language,The Language Of Love 

Body Language is also telling. When you are on your date, pay attention to everything. You want to wow your date, so have a strong upright commanding stance when meeting. Don’t have a grimace or sour puss face. Have a happy demeanor upon meeting. Show a nice bright smile and have a relaxed presence. Show the person that you’re happy to meet them. Hold your shoulders up high, walk with confidence. Never slouch or hunch over. Don’t walk without confidence, having your eyes set to the floor. If you’re shy or timid, it’s ok. Here is a little trick, you can hold your head up high and look forward at objects that is near your dates eyes. It’s a trick that makes it seem that you’re holding eye contact without doing so. I want you to be comfortable but also, want to you to ease your way into effective communication skills. Eye contact establishes trust and connection, something you want. If you’re shy, it’s a fear. I know you’re trusting. You can do it, with this trick. Just want you to practice making eye contact. You can establish eye contact for a few seconds and immediately look at something else (at the eye level). Practice until you get comfortable. Trust me, I have been there. In business, I had to get out of the habit real quick. Eye contact is crucial in this field. I practice until I was comfortable. I want you to do the same. Just use the trick until you are there. No pressure. We are all different, it’s just are personality. Nobody fault. 

I also want you to command your presence like you’re on a runway. You want to impress, Strut your stuff like you own the floor. Act like you’re the Queen or President, own the room. You want draw your date’s attention. This instantly lets them know you’re strong, powerful, attractive, interesting and confident. The talk without talking. That you are worth the time. Command that room. Show off your personality. Be creative and generate that interest immediately. The first 6 seconds are crucial to holding their attention. Capturing it with your presence. You can even give a small handshake or if you’re a little forward like me, a flirty gaze. It shows your date that you are someone I should get to know. Not a waste of your or their time at all. 

Yes Introverts, Make Eye Contact 

The next one is very important, eye contact. This establishes warmth, trust and confidence. If you’re shy and reserved, don’t worry, you don’t have to hold a long gaze. Just a little to let your date know you’re interested. You can practice in the mirror or with friends. Not only is eye contact important in dating but also, in your professional and personal life. If you’ve ever been on a job interview, you know this is very crucial. This can definitely make or break you from getting a job.

Connect With Your Date By Standing and Sitting By Their Side 

 Also, never stand too close to your date. Be at arm’s length. There is something about side by side interaction that works. It establishes more warmth and friendship. Stand a little to the side when speaking. It conveys friendship and connection then standing directly in front. Try this when you are on the date. Sitting across is nice but you can garner more of a connection sitting right next to your date. It is a chance to exchange physical touch and be closer. If you’re flirt like me, touch is your thing.  If things progress, go in and hold/rub the hand. Do a light rub on the arm or on the back. You can even fix their hair. Any type of affection, go in. Also, you can go over the menu together. Get to know each other, feel each other’s presence. If things go smoothly, you may enjoy the lock of the lips. Nothing better! Also, you have more privacy. You can also hear your date more clearly. Also, this a great door to say some spicy words to your date. For their ears only! For are flirters, this is what we thrive on.  It’s harder to do all this sitting across the table. It is less intimate and conveys more of a formal connection. There is nothing wrong, it’s just harder to connect physically. 

 Some other body language tips, leaning forward, light touch (maybe on their shoulder, arm or hand), smiling, head tilt, moving your hands while talking (communicates interest and excitement), bobbing your head up in down in agreement (communicates to your date you’re interested and listening) and also parroting what they are saying, basically a great active listening technique (communicates you’re care about the person and interested in them). You don’t want to slouch, be muddling on your phone, no yawning, sighing and having your eyes dart all over the place. This promotes you’re not interested.

Now don’t get me wrong. If you spot some red flags, be upfront with your date. You can let them know (politely) that you enjoy the meeting but feel that it isn’t a mutual interest. It’s not their fault, you just feel that it’s not going to work out. That you appreciate the time meeting but don’t want to waste their time moving forward. That you wish them all the best. The best policy is being honest and not wasting your time. Just take it as a learning lesson and move on to someone new. It’s life and the best thing you can do is take it positively as a lesson learned. 

 The next one is a great hidden gem. Position of your body. If your date is sitting more towards the right, shift your body in that direction. If you’re shifting more to the left and looking everywhere but on your date, it’s just a red flag (shouting not interested). The key is to see if there is chemistry, if this is the one. You want to sit upright and in a friendly/relaxed stance. You want to incorporate body movement, showing your date life. You don’t want to seem stiff, but relaxed and fun! Just like you’re with your friends or family, have that same stance with your date. 

Let’s face it, you spent time and energy to get dolled up and I know there is a cost to being on this date. I don’t want this to go to waste. 

When You Meet, Greet! 

When you first meet your date, you want to impress. Let’s go to the exterior. Yes, you know the drill. Hair, outfit and comfortable shoes, all on point. 

Clothes 

Before we start our dates, we want to know what type we are going on. Is it a 5 star restaurant or a ball game? When are we going, is it a coffee date, afternoon brunch or evening affair. Will I need a jacket, coat, gloves, extra pair of shoes? What are my expectations after the date? Should I prepare for the morning after? What should my undergarments be looking like? Accessories, what do I want to highlight. My earrings for the ears/face, necklace for neckline, watch/bracelet for the wrist. ring(s) for the hands. These are all the factors you should consider before your date. 

Clothing Tips For Ladies 

 Now, if we are going to a ball game, we wouldn’t want to have on heels. We want to look good but also, not over dressed. We all have cute sneakers that are just as chic. You can look like a snack either glamorous or casually, it’s all about how you style. You can rock a nice crop top and high waisted jeans and wow the room. Also, jeggings and cute filled You can never go wrong with tanks. You can even cut them up for a little flare or tie them up. A little trick I like to have is tie a hoodie around the waist. Give your figure a little more 8 and can come to the rescue for a chilly night. It’s a cute fit and never goes out of style. 

You want to have clothes that are loose, breathable and comfortable. Ladies, I know, we want to show off your figures. The tighter the better, You also don’t want to feel stuffed and uncomfortable. There are a number of clothes that are meant to show off your figure without being uncomfortable. There are a number of styles that flatter your figures. From flowy pants and shirts, we have an amazing assortment ladies. Especially on the casual side. Let’s face it, we are dealing with more going to the gym. The fashion world has taken note of this. They have continued to integrate sporty styles that are sleek and chic. Comfortable and stylish is the game. You want to breathe on your date. We want to prevent odor from setting in. No funk allowed. We want to stay smelling fresh. Also, if you feel uncomfortable, it will be displayed in your body language and your facial expressions. It can break your date miserably. Nothing is worse than feeling uncomfortable. I have had a number of style gaffes over the years, it isn’t fun. From tight shirts to shapewear, I couldn’t wait to go home and take them off. It ruined my whole day. From that day on, I vowed to never put on anything that was uncomfortable. A change was to come. It has paid off big time in my social life. I want the same for you. Not only comfort but to promote hygiene! Plus your health. We don’t want to end up with any health complications (sore joints, breathing issues). We have to live for comfort, not the other way around. Take your time and pick out a few outfits. Make sure they fit and are comfortable. Get your size, never try to squeeze into a size that doesn’t fit. Your date won’t know your size, only you will. They are only concentrating on you and seeing if there is a connection, they can care less about the size. Plan ahead. Here are some ideas that are date night ready! 

Now for some of us ladies, our tummies are something else. The spare around there, we all dread. Thankfully, we have shapewear to help tuck away our problem areas. Spanx, what can I say. It’s a life saver for so many women. If you haven’t checked them out, please do so. Also, Victoria Secret, Macy’s & Bosco’s have an amazing selection of shapewear. If the flirt is in you, you may want to have some intimate selections on hand. Now, for us Victoria Secret stans, we know about pantie sales. Take advantage of them! They have an amazing assortment for all shapes and sizes. Secret has really upped the game over the years. It’s always an amazing time in the store. Fall in love with the push up and full support bras. So much to choose from. Want to bring some spice to your life, check out these outlets and their intimate sections. Look out for the sales. Try on the intimates, make sure they look right on your body. That they are also comfortable. You will be amazed at how much your confidence raises. If you want to add a little shape to your breast and butt areas, they also have pads. Check out the accessory areas. Let’s show out for our dates. 

Clothing Tips For Men 

For the men, you have a number of options as well. You are rocking a lot of hip styles that are fresh and show your personality. H&M, Forever 21, Abercrombie & Fitch, GAP, Macy’s have been killing it. You have been rocking the sporty casual to chic business casual like no other.

Just like the ladies, you want to breathe in your clothes. You have a number of options to choose from. You can rock a nice t-shirt and jeans and look to the 9’s. It’s all about how it fits. You also want to pick out your outfit ahead of time. Make sure it fits you.

The key is knowing your body shape and what looks flattering on you. Also, what is your personal style that goes with your personality? You also want to know what type of date we are looking at? Does it require formal, casual or sporty clothes? From there, you will be able to choose the correct clothes. 

For the bottoms, some nice slacks go a long way. From jeans, khakis and slacks, you have your choices. If you’re opting for more casual and formal, slacks go a long way. You want to impress if you are opting for a night out for dancing or recreation! 

For the tops, flannels are a go in this new wave. Pick one out, you can’t go wrong. They are stylish, chic and give off a nice outdoor vibe. They accentuate all figures, drawing attention to broad shoulders and chest. They’re really flatter on men. Another great option is casual button down shirts! They are a mood. They accentuate your figure like no other. They command respect, style, personality, professionalism with a side of zest.

Seasons Change, Choose The Right Fabrics 

When you go on a date, you have to account for the weather. Would you hit the door without an umbrella if it’s raining? No. Make sure you have one handy. Keep it near your door or in your car. Somewhere you won’t forget it. Always have more than one! Never know when one will go to the left! You can just grab the other one and go! 

The key, pick out clothes that are seasonable and breathable. Comfort is your friend, can’t stress enough. 

Linen is your friend for our summer daters. It’s lightweight and breathable. Chiffon and silk are others. We want to combat sweat during these times. Also, we want to keep the heat exhaustions at bay! If you’re into romantic and shiny textures, silk is the go to fabric. For the winter, leather, cotton, wool, cashmere, are the staples. Investing in a nice and stylish coat, scarf and gloves during these times. Also, boots with plenty of traction. You don’t want to be slipping during these times. Don’t let the snow be a deterrent, just plan ahead! 

If you’re  planning a dinner, a night out dancing or other affairs, you will look stylish and comfortable. Located below are some ideas. 

 If you have a physique, you might want to show it off. You want to show off your hard work a little. Now before we throw on the beater, pump the brakes.  Maybe throw on a half sleeve shirt to show off some of your muscles. There is nothing wrong in bringing a little tease to your date. It’s not required but if you’re the type, go for it! There are many stylish shirts that will accentuate your figure. Will have you looking strong, astute and stylish. You can also Invest in a nice shirt (loosely fit) that fits your physique.

Choosing The Right Colors Can Bring Out Your Physical Attractiveness-Undertones

 For our daters, we want to choose a color that goes with your skin tone or your eyes. 

Cool undertones- blue, green, pink and purple look amazing on you. Warm undertones- green undertones, red, greens, browns, and yellows are your friend. People of color generally have warm undertones. How you can tell, by checking your veins on your wrist. If you notice blue, you’re cool. If you notice green, you’re warm. 

Plus Size Is A Great Size- Combat Your Issues

As the plus size world has evolved, you want to embrace the number of offerings for you. All sizes our appreciated and nothing wrong with your size. The key is pick out the right clothes that fit your figure. You may want to hide some problem areas and accentuate others. No matter what, I want to address comfort. I want you to have confidence on your date as well. Before you hit your dates, make sure you’re comfortable in your clothes. Make sure they fit. You don’t want to deal with zippers flying open or buttons popping off. Let alone ripped clothes. Why it’s important to try on your clothes and make sure they fit. Walk around in your clothes for about 5-10 minutes. Try to stretch and move around in them. You’re testing the fabrics strength and if you can move in them. Don’t be bothered by the size, only you will know. The key is comfort. You want to be breathing on your date, not feeling stuffed. Your figure is fine and you will be shining bright on your date. I want to bring out your inner style. 

In addition, sweat. The heavier you’re, you are prone to sweat. It’s just the nature of the game. It’s nothing wrong, just how the body is made. With extra weight, your body is working a little harder. With sweat, comes odor. When the sweat mixes with bacteria, odors come roaring. They love to come where there are rolls. To combat, would invest in powder, baking soda and anti-perpersperants. They won’t mask the odors, they will eliminate them. This will prevent sweat stains from coming on your clothes. Apply these products in those areas to eliminate odor. 

Stores That Are Plus Sized Friendly 

Thank the heavens, we have many plus size outlets that are killing the games. Some of my favorites Eloquii and Lane Bryant, who specialize in plus sizes. We also have essentially all stores doing it well! Forever21, H&M, Macy’s, Ross, Rainbow, Old Navy, Asos, BooHoo, Victoria Secret, Boscos and Shein. You can also browse the online stores and other online outlets (AliExpress and Amazon). There are some stores (in the mall) that have amazing plus size sections. I know they’re in my malls that I frequent, I just forgot the names. Great quality and at some good prices. Take a stroll around your malls for some hidden gems. Also, you will be able to try on your clothes. Examine how they look. Look out for bargain prices. Save your coins. You will look like a million bucks. 

Shapewear Is Your Friend

As previously pointed out, shapewear is a great staple. It helps to hide trouble areas and have our clothes fitting much better. They are amazing and plenty of options!  The key, get some that are comfortable and fit. You don’t want them slipping off your body. That is a recipe for disaster. You also don’t want them fitting too snug. You ever seen those marks on your body. What pattern are we working with today. Also, you don’t want to encounter any breathing issues. Protect your diaphragm. I am serious. You can encounter some serious health complications from wearing things too tight (especially frequently). Try them on, get a sample if you can. Talk to the customer representative for suggestions. Get all the assistance you can. As always, look out for deals. You can get some amazing quality shapewear without breaking the bank. The key is lookout for sales and get them well in advance. Also ways have a spare pair. You would be good to go. Spanx, Macy’s, Bosco’s, Victoria Secret have amazing options. Check your favorite clothing retailer, I am pretty sure they have assortment. I know when I step in Forever 21 and H&M, I am impressed. The key, look for those steals. Can check AliExpress and Amazon. Online is your friend, you can get coupons, clearance and exclusive discounts. You can even reach out to customer service on social media or contact us for deals. Save your coins. It never hurts to ask. Happy hunting! 

If you are losing weight or having a tough time holding up your clothes, invest in some belts. Trust me, if you haven’t gotten to your dream size, a belt can be your best friend. You don’t want to be running out and buying new clothes just yet. You can use safety pins or grab the sewing machine and hem. So much you can do before you get to your dream size.

Don’t Forget Your Accessories 

Personally, I am an accessories junkie. Maybe it’s the African in me, lol. I love them to death. They’re stylish and my motto, the bigger the hoop, the bigger my heart becomes. I love large hoop earrings. I also have an affinity for our other geometric friends. The triangles are adored. I am in love. They bring out your face like no other. The purpose is to draw attention to your face and neck line. Then for the rest of your body. The same applies for necklaces, draw attention to your neck and face. They also can bring out your natural beauty and accentuate your style. Belts are amazing. They hold up your pants for extra support. They also bring out style to your fit. Ties and undershirts are a go for the fellas. Get one that goes with your skin tone and personality. They can level up your outfit and a major draw. Nothing is more telling than a tie. You heard Justin Timberlake belt it out in Suit and Tie. 

 If you have warm tones, gold is your friend. I repeat, it’s your friend. It look amazing with your complexion. I use to rock silver until I discovered the undertones. I have been on the gold train ever since. Also, I love white and multicolor earrings. They really bring out my complexion and style. For our cool tones, silver are more of your passion. You want to draw attention to your face, it’s the place of communication. From your eyes, nose and mouth, it’s the point of communication. 

You can’t forget the eyebrows, they also talk. Can express surprise, happiness, discomfort, pondering and anger. Your accessories can also make you feel like royalty, a sense of confidence. They also tell your personality. As you know the theme of this article is communication, and can also be part of an amazing conversation. Especially if your date compliments your accessories.  Let’s get into a scenario shall we. 

Scenario- You’re Wearing Gold Hoop Earrings and Necklace That Accentuate Your Skin Tone

Your date: “ Before you hit my shoulder, I have to say, I really love your earrings. You’re already beautiful but I can’t take my eyes off these beauties.”

You: “ Thanks. They’re my favorite pair. You know a woman can’t go without them. They are my besties.”

Your date: “ I am pretty sure you draw a lot of attention with and without them on. You have a great sense of style. Have you always been the fashionista? Is that what they call you guys these days?”

You: “ LoL.  Somebody has been watching E! Fashion Police  or Project Runway. Yes, that’s the right term. I am impressed.”

Your date: “Now before you hit my other shoulder. Does your ears hurt? How much does these things weigh?”

You: “ Don’t worry, I won’t hit but don’t be alarmed if I start a little rubbing, wink. No, they don’t. I prep for the day but they’re uncomfortable at all. So, my big question is, which I probably already know the answer to. Do you workout? 

Your date: “ LoL. My dream answer is no. If l could just wake up without hitting the iron, that would be great. But yes, I lift. Can you tell.” 

You: “I know you notice my eyes scanning your eyes religiously. The rubbing of the shoulders has to be a big giveaway. Your hard work is paying off, wink.”

Commentary on the scenario

As you can see, we have your date paying a compliment that can open up the door into an amazing conversation. Your date gets to know more about you, your personal style and essentially your personality. He gets to know you. If things progress further, to a relationship, he has a basis of who you’re. He knows your into fashion and into accessories, things you adore. He knows what works for you, what you love. So when it comes around for gifts or adoration, he knows what will make your heart skip. May it be more accessories or gift card to your favorite place, he knows. Also, relaxes both you and your date. Seeing if their is mutual interest. How he is paying attention to what is on beat with the opposite sex. In return, you extended a complement. You see how this is all natural. Don’t compliment on something that you don’t genuinely like. It will come off as forced and awkward. Which we don’t want. You see in this example, you admire the physique and wasn’t bashful about it. A nice joke is all it takes. It’s tastefully done without being over the top. It also establishes trust, confidence and spice into the date. That is what it is all about, having fun. If you’re a little outspoken, this works. If you’re a little more reserve, you may pay a compliment that is little more laid back. Perhaps their smile, hair, outfit. It’s all up to you. Just drawing attention to an example is tastefully done. You paid a compliment and know it’s hard work lifting weights. It can go into a discussion about lifting.  This includes how long he’s been lifting, what specific exercises he performs and what his goals are. So many directions but it shows a mutual interest. He can turn it around and ask if you’re into fitness. So many directions. The goal, is to spark conversation about mutual interest. All natural. You will have a winning conversation. 

Some Other Clothing Tips Before You Hit Your Date

No matter the weather, you want to have a back up. I am talking about a stylish light sweater or jacket. You don’t want to get a cold, we want to protect your health. Also, if you hit the outdoors unexpectedly, at least you’re prepared. You will feel comfortable and stylish as well! What’s better, if your date offers there jacket to you. If this happens, pick this one up. You have a winner. If this doesn’t spell out they care, I don’t know what does. Offer a flirty compliment in return. Bring out your natural appeal, bring some life to your date. Keep the conversation going. 

Also, you want to make sure there aren’t any issues with your zippers and buttons. That your clothes fit, wrinkle free and are comfortable. Also, examine your clothes for any rips or holes.

 Also, examine your clothes for odor. If you smell mildew or odor, immediately throw it in the wash. Wash on hot water cycle. Before you do, check your tag on your clothes (make sure it’s hot water friendly). Use a cup of vinegar or baking soda (can use both). Wash on the cycle, then throw in the dryer. Make sure your clothes are completely dry. Also, lay out your clothes. Hang them on hangers, spread them out. This will help keep them wrinkle free. If you like to fold your clothes, it’s ok. I would recommend hanging them on a hanger. This will help them to air out and keep odor away! 

Invest in a light fabric refresher. I have an all natural one, ( vinegar and little water). Spritz down and air out. If you have a clothing line, you can even throw them on there. Air out in the sun, then complete airing out in your home. The key, have your clothes to breathe. You don’t want to go frumpy and unkempt. If you have some holes in your jeans, you can make a stylish pair and rock them during your casual times. You can also cut up and use as rags. If you’re handy with sewing machine, you can make some cute pillows, fabric covers, or a nice handbag. Don’t throw away, reuse and recycle.

Also, have a great steam iron. Some fabrics require just steam. We all have the clothes that we have to take to the dry cleaners. Check your tags, check what settings. You don’t want to ruin your nice outfit before the date. Have a good steamer with settings. Also, have good irons. Target, Walmart, and Amazon all have amazing assortments. Before you finish, make sure you turn off your irons and they’re unplug. Don’t wait to last minute always prep 1-2 days before the date. Have a backup outfit or 2. You should be good to go.

 Never wait until the last minute with your clothes why? I am pretty sure you’re busy. If your date is after work, you probably don’t have much time to prepare. You have to shower, groom, check to make sure you have everything. It takes time. If you have to worry about your clothes, that is extra time. To combat, prep well in advance. Have a game plan ready so you won’t be rushing. 

You want to be relaxed and calm. I am pretty sure you will be a little nervous. If you’re in a rush, you will be all over the place. Psychologically, it will throw your date completely off. You don’t want to waste time and money. Please prepare in advance. Also, make sure your gas is filled, phone is charged, you know the directions and finances are in order. We all are grown but we are also busy. It’s easy not to think ahead. That is where I step in. I want you to have a successful dating life. I want you to meet the love of your life. Let’s do this!

Storytime Of When I Was Plus Sized

In my earlier years (when I was heavy), I had all type of blunders. I worked hard over the past 10 years to get down to a size 8. I am proud but enjoyed my time when I was plus-sized. I learned and embraced my size. It didn’t matter as long as I was stylish. I was healthy and active. I just was in a comfortable state of mind. If you want to hear more of my personal journey, here we go. Now back to the subject at hand. 

From the sweat to clothes fitting too snug. I encountered every disaster. I vowed to never encounter these issues ever again. Try on before I buy. If I have to go up a size, that’s fine. I want to feel comfortable and believe me, I still looked great in my clothes. Finding clothes that flatter my figure. My tummy was my worst nightmare. My arms were next.  I would find clothes that would hide these areas and accentuate other areas.I would comb the plus size sections, finding clothes that were stylish and fit my personality. Most importantly my budget (I am a spendthrift). It worked and received compliments all the time. People love my style. I am here to share my advice.

Hair Done, Nails Done, Everything Did 

For women, hair is our best friend. For some, it can make or break us. We are so concerned about hair. I am pretty sure if you’re going to an affair, the first thing on your mind. I have to get my hair done. It’s in nature. We want our crown to be glorious. The key is to prep. If you’re planning on going to the salon, book ahead of time. You don’t want to wait to last minute. What if they’re booked up until your date, yikes! Always have a plan B. Do you have a nice wig or hairstyle you can go. A nice chic bun works wonders every time. You can never go wrong. All you need is a hair ties, some bobby pins, and gots to be glue, you’re good to go! Just like your clothes, the key is to feel comfortable. Rock a style that is fitting to your face shape and shows your personality. You want to impress your date. Opt for nice soft bouncy hair styles that will make your date want to run their fingers through your hair. You want to elicit the compliment. Bring out your appeal. Take a peek at this article for more hair tips! 

For the men, you want to look fresh to death. A trip to the barber, please book ahead of time. Have your style in mind. You can also ask your barber his opinion. Let him know you’re going on a date, what he thinks. Never hurts to have someone else’s opinion and a fresh set of eyes. Especially if you’re not sure, ask. They have style options, pick one that meshes with your face shape and personality. You will be good to go.

Prep Your Skin Ahead Of Time Before Your Date

 Also, you want to prep your skin ahead of time. You don’t want any breakouts happening up until your day. Beforehand, drink plenty of water and keep a good diet. I am talking about fruits and vegetables. Let’s try to stay away from the sugars and salts. We want to keep toxins out of your body, keeping your skin nice. Also, invest in a good skin care regimen. You should be good to go for your date! 

Let’s Not Forget To Prep Ahead For Hygiene 

 Make sure you have proper hygiene that will keep you fresh throughout the day. You can always get travel size deodorants, antiperspirants, toothpaste and toothbrush as a companion pack. You can also get a travel size bar of soap of your choice ( I love Dove), two washcloths and vinegar. A bonus, African soap. The ultimate odor eliminator. Keep a small piece wrap in some saran and you are good to go! I love to wash with vinegar; it makes me smell extra fresh throughout the day. It eliminates any odor. I love to mix a little with my soap when I wash. If you need to refresh, can throw it in a bag.  Also throw in some gum or travel size mouthwashes. We know the practice, brush after eating. If you’re planning on planting the big ones on your date, you want to be prepared! Get a nice travel bag or large Freezer Ziplock bag and throw these essentials in your bag. Head on over to the travel sections of Target and Walmart. At Target, they generally have the Dove at the bargain price of $1.00 for a bar. It really lasts a long time; little goes a long way. Nothing beats Dove’s smell. One of the best soaps ever. You can’t beat the moisture content. A staple I have been using all my life. 

You also may want to carry some makeup essentials such as lipstick, mascara, foundation, foundation brush, makeup wipes, lip balm and powder as touch ups. For our oily friends, powder is essential. Have a travel bag prep a few days before your date. Don’t forget your compact mirror.  Marshalls and TJ Maxx have some good markdowns on these essentials. Stock up. You can also check Dollar Tree, Walmart, Target, Sephora, Ulta Beauty, and Ali Express for good deals. Once again, the key is to prepare ahead. Also, for the ladies, we can never be too safe. Always have some pads, tampons or an extra pair of underwear on hand. You never know if something arises. Also, if cramps are a mother, keep some Advil or Pamprin on stock. You generally want to keep them in your bag regardless when you’re on the go. 

 For the fellas, if you travel with a bag or bookbag, throw these in as well. You may want to keep a good razor and some shaving cream just in case. 

Quality and Comfort Shoes Rules on The Date 

Now ladies, I know how we are with heels. For most of us, the higher the better. For us Beyonce fans, we often ponder how she can do an 8 hour concert with them. Dancing all over the stage without any blunders. We are all not Beyonce. I know we want to impress but I want you to feel comfortable. There are many low heel or flat shoes that are just as good! You can rock them like no other. If you do opt for heels, invest in some comfort insoles and throw in some flats into your bags. You don’t have to have them the whole time. Also, get the best quality shoes. This will help with your comfort level. Never too tight or pointy, you want to protect your feet. Don’t worry about shoe size, throw that out the window. There is no such thing as big feet. I will tell you I have wide feet and comfortable telling others. You can’t help how you are born, what you can do is make sure you protect your health and comfort. You don’t want to end up getting paralyzed and surgery later on in life. If you’re on the date and want to opt for something that involves standing for a long time on your feet, you don’t want to be in heels. Always have a pair of flats and comfort insoles on standby. They will do you wonders. When you feel comfortable you will act it. If you feel uncomfortable it will come across on your date. You will be grimacing and waiting the whole time to get home to take off your shoes, just diminishing your date. Invest in quality shoes, get some insoles, and don’t stand for long periods of time. You can look to the 9’s with flats or low heels, they are just as stylish! Just make sure they are top quality and mesh with your feet composition. 

The same goes for the fellas. Invest in good quality shoes. Get some good cushion insoles with plenty of breathable room. 

Don’t Forget The Complements To Our Shoes 

Yes, we can’t forget our socks, hosiery and foot socks (for our heels/shoes). We want to have apparel that aren’t snug around our foot and ankles. I know, for our ankle sock wears, can be sensitive. Invest in long socks if you’re sensitive. After some use, you get use to them. The key, make sure your socks are put on correctly. The heel and foot part are matching on your foot, not the other way around. Make sure the part is extending past the ankle. We want to protect our feet! Also, material matters. We don’t want to promote smelly feet. The key, air out your shoes and feet. Never wear the same shoes two days in the row. Alternate your shoes. Air them out. Invest in foot spray or powder. Dr. Scholls yall. A little blast will keep them fresh. Also, light spritz of vinegar/alcohol and baking soda will keep the odor. The key is not to mask, but eliminate odor. Never be ashamed of investing in these products. No one will know. 

We

want to promote great hygiene and keep fungus away. Yes, we want no funky feet. You also don’t want bunions, calluses and corns to develop. Also discolored nails. No. We want soft subtle feet. Scrubbing your feet everyday (while in the shower/bath) and lotioning up will help. Also, breathable and quality shoes should be on your feet. Also, keep your feet hygiene up. You don’t want to be sitting with your date and smell foot odor. The rest of your body can be smelling fresh but all of sudden you smell corn chips. Yikes! If you can smell them, you sure don’t want your date smelling them. Let’s prevent it by using the steps outlined! 

Refreshing The Air With Love 

Only you know your body chemistry. If you persistently sweat, put on some baby powder or for us naturalists, baking soda. It helps to absorb the sweat and prevent them from getting on your clothes. Also, invest in antiperspirants that absorb sweat and help to eliminate sweat. How is this different from deodorant? Deodorant helps to combat odor but not absorb the sweat. We want to avoid odor which is caused by bacteria mixing with our sweat. So you can use both. The winner is antiperspirant because it absorbs wetness and odor. Deodorant just masks the odor. 

We want to be smelling fresh, so invest in one that matches your body chemistry. 

What You Eat Prior To The Date Matters

Yes, what you eat matter. Let me tell you, I don’t know what we would do without onion and garlic. They are the spice of life and bring a kick to any dish. They are also a mother for the breath. They also can seep into your skin. Even if you eat them days before, they can still linger. So what do we do, steer clear of them prior to our dates. Also, during our dates. If you’re looking to plant the big one during your date, you don’t want our friends winning in your mouth. Avoid them at all cost. 

Also, steer away from gassy food. Milk is prime target number one. Also, cabbage, onions, beans, cauliflower, broccoli, whole grains, fatty foods and alcohol. You don’t want to be dealing with flatulence during your date. You also don’t want diarrhea rearing its ugly head. If this happens, seek medical treatment and drink plenty of water (avoid salt). Also, eat bananas, rice, toast and applesauce. This helps firm your stool, getting you back to normalcy.  

For gas, you can try beano, gas-x, and beanaid. You can also try apple cider vinegar, activated charcoal, peppermint, chamomile and ginger are natural aids. Also exercising and deep breathing help your digestion. 

Don’t Eat Too Fast- Let’s Prevent Gas 

Not only do you cause wear and tear on your digestion track but the risk of choking. You also can cause gas to form by eating too fast. Slow down and savor your food. Enjoy the time with your date. Your body will thank you. 

Don’t Throw The Garnishes Away-Save For Your Breath

I know you see the pretty garnishes on your plate. It’s mostly parsley. It’s not only there to make your plate more appetizing but keep your breath fresh. Before you toss on your side plate, place them in your mouth (at the end of your meal). Also, have some gum, mints or travel size mouthwashes in your bag (avoid ones with sugar, sugar draws bacteria, masking rather than eliminating odor). 

Hygiene Practices For Your Date

Also, engage in hygiene practices. You know, brush after a meal. Floss, make sure no food is stuck in between the teeth. Make sure you have a tongue scraper at bay, getting the bacteria out. Also, stick to your dentist appointments. You want to keep gingivitis and plaque out. A recipe for bad breath. Stick to good hygiene and your mouth will thank you. Invest in a good toothbrush. Don’t get one that is too hard and one that is too soft. Medium is good. You don’t want to promote bleeding gums. You want one that will remove bacteria and decay from your mouth. Also, that is gentle on your gums. Don’t forget to brush every part of your mouth and scrape that tongue. 

 Keep your mouth hydrated. Drink plenty of water, eliminate the toxins out of your body. It also promotes fresh breath. Good old parsley is a natural breath freshener. It purifies your mouth. Also fresh mint or spearmint leaves work wonders. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Promotes fresh breath, healthy skin and overall health. 

Keep to these practices and you will have a healthy mouth and fresh breath. We want to comfortably be intimate with our date. Our breath and mouth care is essential. Getting ahold of this beforehand will have things running smoothly. 

Scent Of A Woman and Allure Of A Man

If you ever walk into Walgreens, the first thing you see is Elizabeth Taylor Diamonds display. A woman of class, you know she doesn’t play when it comes to the perfume game! For us ladies, fragrance makes us feel like royalty. We don’t play. Have you ever walked to Bath & Body, always full. Those baskets are flying all over the store! For us who love Victoria Secret, besides the lingerie and bra there are the scents! Give those testers a try! They have a number of scents that are sure to have your date’s attention. I am a sucker for vanilla scents and so sad there. Vanilla Lace has been discontinued! I am always on look out for their annual, semi-annual,  and 3 for $35 sales. You can also browse your fragrance sections in TJ Maxx, HomeGoods and Marshalls. You can get some locally made or  high end brands at a discount prices. I have a nice honey and vanilla one from Marshalls that I am addicted to. It has taken the place of the Vanilla Lace. So ladies, up your scent game, feel like royalty on your date. There is something about smelling good that changes your mood for the better. It also shows a taste of your personality. You can also invest in travel size lotion containers and throw your favorite lotion in it. You can refresh on your date and save room in your bag. 

For the guys, I have to commend you as you have been putting the women to shame. Your skin and fragrance game has leveled up on so many levels. I have done a number of marketing papers and am in awe of how much of a beast this market has come. You have a number of products made for you and your body chemistry. Sephora’s, Macy’s, Walmart, Target and your favorite clothing stores have an amazing assortment waiting for you. Don’t be afraid to hit the counters, fall in love with the testers. Find one that works for you and wow your date. You know your date will be smelling fresh, why not out match her. The goal is to get her to compliment you, get to know your personality and fall in love with your body chemistry. You will feel like a million bucks with the fragrance of your choice. 

For all of us, don’t go overboard with the fragrance. This can end up backfiring. You can’t overwhelm your date and may not mesh with your body chemistry. You may develop an unwelcoming stench as time goes by, a thing we don’t want. A little goes a long way. Let’s segway to the next point. Let’s get the conversation started on the right foot. 

Start of the Conversation, wow in the first 6 seconds

The saying goes, the key to connecting with someone is the first 6 seconds. You can either hold their attention or have them flying out the door. We want to get their attention so it is with body language (as outlined before), smile and eye contact. To keep it going, comment or extend a complement. Let’s get into a conversation scenario. 

Scenario: Your date has on your favorite color 

You: “Oh,  you’re rocking my favorite color, starting on the right foot.”
Your date: “Oh, this is a good sign. I thought I only had to show you a good time and pay the bill.” 

You: “The traditionalist, a funny one at it. I guess the next step is holding the door.”

Your: “ Yes, I was brought up with manners. But most importantly to observe the beauty.”

You: “ Oh I bet, I guess we can get around a lot of things being chivalrous, wink.” 

Commentary On Scenario 

As you can see, this conversation is getting the date to open up, relax and smile. It also shows your personality. This can also get them to continue the conversation.. Your’e also expressing some sense of humor back and getting you to also relax. As you can see, you have picked up on the game that your date likes to observe your physicality on the sly. As the last line alludes to “around” (alluding to the physicality), you are ok with it. You know the game. Showing your wit and laid back nature. Also playful flirting style. It also shows chemistry and mutual interest. 

We all heard of bad dates. You want to go into your date thinking it will be good. Transitioning back to our favorite color conversation, we will continue the conversation. 

Scenario: Your date has on your favorite color- Continued

You: “Who said you were paying, you got on my color, it’s only fair I flip the bill.”

Your date: ” So I get brownie points for choosing a great color and a date with great taste, what makes it your favorite color.” 

You: “You see these baby greens, it got me out of so much trouble.” 

Your date: “ I noticed, I didn’t want to be so forward.  I am sure you got a lot of trouble with them.  What trouble are we talking about?”  

Commentary On Scenario 

As you can see, you incorporate personality and subtle flirting, a recipe for a great date! You’re subtly letting your date know you are interested, You like their personality and think they’re attractive. This instills confidence and causes your date to open up. Let’s continue the conversation.

Scenario: Your date has on your favorite color- Continued

 Your date: “Where do I begin, breaking curfew, traffic tickets and forgetting to give my dog a treat, just to name a few.”

 You: “You broke the cardinal rule with the treat, what type of heartbreaker are we dealing with.” Your date: ”A rescue husky who always has my shoe hanging out its mouth. We also fight over Usher.

 You: “Oh a rescue!  So I am about to go on a date with Superman. Plus a man who has a good taste!  My dreams have come true. So what’s the favorite song we have to debate?” 

Commentary On Scenario

As you can see, I am giving you a sample structure of a conversation.Incorporating subtle quirks to keep the conversation fresh and fun. When you’re talking, express your personality. If you feel that you’re stoic, you can still have fun with this type of personality.  Just incorporate your fun side. That’s the point. When you date, it is to feel a connection and build upon an eventual relationship. Each personality is different and unique, the key is to draw out the fun nature about it! 

Scenario: Your date has on your favorite color- Continued

Your date:  “He howls along to “Seduction” and tail wags in the wind to “Caught Up.” I can’t sing so I leave it up to him.”  

You: “ So your cutie is caught up in the Confessions album, who’s heart will he be breaking.” 

Your date:” Hopefully not my neighbor’s dog, it’s always a joy to be in my backyard, lol.” 

You: “I get it, are they inseparable play buddies or rival teams on the way to the Subway series.” 

Your date: “With a husky, its the play buddy until you see holes in my neighbors yard, lol” 

Commentary On Scenario

As you can see, I am incorporating some ideas you can use in your conversation. Examine the structure. You would say it is more quirky,  light hearted and less forward. The goal is to show your fun side and personality. You don’t have to be quirky the whole conversation. Based on my experience, I believe the best way to draw a person is to show your fun side. Your showing happiness, fun and breaking the tension. You are subtly drawing that person in, letting them know you’re interesting. You never want to come across as boring, especially if you’re really interested in that person. You want to draw them in. 

The key, not to over do it. They can tell and will lose interest. They want someone who is genuine. The key is to draw out your natural personality and be comfortable showing it on your date. We all have flaws, I am sure your date knows that. The key is to show your personality and your interest naturally.

 There is no harm practicing beforehand, especially if you have a tough time conversating. The goal here is to draw out your personality and ideas that can drive an amazing conversation. Examine the structure. I picked up on the date’s responses and responded to each with genuine interest. With each, I built upon that conversation with more questions. You’re essentially probing. You can have the 5 W’s. Who, What, When, Where, and Why? The ultimate key, is to have genuine interest. If you have a mutual interest, the conversation will come off with ease. Let’s get into another example. 

Let’s say you notice your date has a California accent. Here is an example of how you can start an amazing conversation of the accent.

Scenario: How Start Conversation During Date Scenario-Detect The Accent

You: “ My Spidey senses detect someone is from a state with amazing sunshine, palm trees and the HollyWood sign blazing in the background.”

Your date: “ I get surfer all the time, I would love to show you around before it sails off into the ocean.” 

You: “Well we better get started on this date before we start prepping the flight, deal!”

Your date: “ Deal, we already moved past first already. Your charm is amazing. Is this the norm with all your dates?” 

You: “Only if they come with your accent,your smile and big heart. I have to scoop you up before someone else will, wink.”

 Your date: “ That’s not the only thing that is big in California, wink.”

You: “I guess handsome comes in a big second there, wink.” 

Your date “ I would say but I don’t want to have to beat the guys off you there. The second would be your beauty.” 

You: “ You don’t have to worry about the guys, just keeping my eyes off of you.” 

Commentary On Scenario

This is an example that is fun and very flirty. I not only want to draw out your natural personality but your inner flirt. Flirting is fun and if you’re really attracted to someone, please flirt.  Flirting brings out your creativity and its so refreshing talking subtly. It really spices up your date and brings plenty of fun. You don’t have to be overly vulgar or let alone vulgar at all. There is nothing wrong with being a playful and subtle flirt. I feel it is more sensual than just being outright vulgar. I would reserve the vulgarness when you’re in a committed relationship with someone not on a date. You’re getting to know someone. Once you’re in a committed relationship and know the person, there’s nothing wrong with a little raunchiness. Especially in the bedroom. Why not bring a little spice when you’re intimate with your partner. 

The best, when it’s unexpected! Save the surprise for your partner. Let them wait and then spring it on them. Don’t show them all your goodies in the beginning, hang on to them. That way you can test if they are for you. There is nothing like surprising your partner in the bedroom. It levels up the intimacy so don’t shell it all out in the beginning, build up to the climax! 

I know this example ends on some heavy flirting. Just wanted to give you an example to play on. It’s subtle, classy, and meant to bring fun to the date. Also let your date know you’re attracted to them. Either physically, mentally or emotionally, there is a connection, you want to build upon it during your date. It also relaxes both you and your date, setting up for a great time ahead. It also draws the chemistry between you both.

 The flirty conversation starter is an absolute favorite style of mine. I am a natural flirt and know how to wheel and deal with the words. I love talking subtly and being all cryptic. I believe if I am attracted to you, I want you to know. I want to know that you are treasured, adored and loved. It’s fun and bring spice to the conversation. Please try it, you will not regret. If you have never tried, practice, practice, and practice. Envision a dream date and what you would say. Use this example and run with it. With practice, you will be amaze how good you will get. So when it comes down to your date, you will be able to have an amazing conversation. I know you can do it! 

Scenario-How Start A Conversation In A Date Scenario-The Name

We all have them and all can be the beginning of a fulfilling relationship. Everyone has a name and I know it has history. It’s your identity. Getting a conversation going with your name is a wonderful bridge to a great conversation. It’s a part of you, something you will have forever. If you have an unusual name, it’s even better. It often entails how to pronounce it and the tells of those having a hard time to pronounce it. It’s great if your date loves your name. It shows genuine interest. It’s also a tell tale sign if they are interested in you. They want to know everything about you. They aren’t just drawn to the exterior, they are drawn to the interior, who you are. Usually with your name, it transitions into telling either stories about your family. school or childhood. It is also a great way to spark some humor. Especially if your name is common with a celebrity or a brand name. Let’s start with an example. Say for instance, your date’s name is Tom. You can do a quick quip on famous Tom’s. Let’s start with the first example. Tom Hanks. 

Your date: My name is Tom. 

You: Wow, I am about to meet my second favorite Tom. 

Your date: Well, who am I competing with, I have to secure that number one spot. 

You: This one is an Oscar legend, you may have seen him doing it Big on a giant piano. 

Your date: No way, this is one of my favorite movies. If I can only live that dream job, who doesn’t love toys. I failed miserably. 

You: I agree, how about the apartment he setted up, smart. What do you do to keep the lights on. 

Your date: Seeing the giant bull everyday. I look at stocks all day so I can keep Madden on during the weekends. You?

You: So you face the other Tom I dread seeing. I am a Seahawks fan. Who are you spilling popcorn all over the floor for?

Your date: This Tom, no comment. You like the pigskins, Wilson is sick and I am choking on diet coke once I see the ball in his hands. Broncos head to the core. 

You: I am pretty sure you have Elway memorabilia stationed somewhere in your house. I don’t meet many Broncos fans. It’s cool as long as my team is winning, a mischievous grin. 

Your date: Touche. I feel we have a lot in common and someone has great taste. 

Conversation 

In this example, I touch upon how you can take a common introduction and make it interesting. Instead of the general, that’s a nice name. You can compliment by being creative. By saying ““second favorite Tom”, I am  paying a compliment, peeking my date’s curiosity and also testing to see if my date has a mutual interest. I am also getting him to think and telling him, hey, this girl is quite intelligent, witty and interesting. It gives your date an interesting spin. You don’t have to be witty or quirky throughout the whole conversation. Starting off is a great way to grab your date’s attention and hold it. The goal is to spark some interest and see if their is a mutual connection between the two of you. As you can see, the date was able to find out Tom Hanks being her favorite and to transition to talking about movies. Also, it segway to talking about sports. If you ever played the game 6 Degrees of Separation- Kevin Bacon yall- you know how to build a connection. We kind of played it here and it continued an interesting conversation. As you see, the last line can open the conversation to go in so many different directions. For instance. I will list some lines that the date can state after great taste. 

Line 1: We are having a nice conversation but we are missing your name. What are you going to hit me with?

Line 2: How long have you been a Seahawks fan? Ever been to a game?

Line 3: I am pretty sure you watched all of Tom Hanks films, what’s the second favorite?

Line 4: Do you game?  

Line 5: What do you for the trade? 

Commentary On Scenario

As you can see, I list 5 different scenarios the date can transition into, keeping the conversation flowing. The name of the game, is to get to know each other. Draw out each other’s interests, what you like, what makes you tick, your personality, your goals, and if there are any red flags. You want to keep this in mind when you’re having a conversation. Before going in, think, why do I want to have a conversation with this person. What do I want to know? What is important to me? What is my preferences? What will keep me entertained and interested? Once you reflect upon all these points, jot down some list of questions. You can keep them on your notes (on your phone or computer). Review them and keep them in your mind. So when date time rolls around, you can fire them off. You won’t be stumbling or feel awkward. I know, we all going into dates having nerves. The pressure is not to come off as awkward or dull/boring. Something we all fear. If you have issues with starting and keeping a conversation, go over these points. You will be amazed how you won’t struggle in the future. We are all interested in our own rights. We all have different personalities, its important to be you. Be prepared. The issue is not going in with a game plan and or/a genuine interest. You have to know your goal beforehand or it will fail. If you’re going in just for the hang of it, your date will know. It may be awkward. If there are “dead times” throughout your date and you feel uncomfortable don’t panic. Just refer back to this list of points (and points that will be outlined below). You can always pick up the conversation again. The key, don’t draw it to your dates attention. Try not to mention it, “its kind of quiet”, “have I been boring you”, Let’s get into some good transition lines to get the conversation going again. 

Good Transition Lines To Get The Conversation Going Again

Line 1: Are you having a good time? I sure am! Then ask a random question (after their response). Ask questions that you want to know about your date. For instance, if you have an interest in a man that likes to cook.  Example: What do you like cook? Do you grill?

Line 2: Anything pressing your mind? Let me hear it!  Then ask a random question (after their response). Ask questions that you want to know about your date. For instance, if your curious about what your date likes to do as a hobby  Example: What are your eyeballs glue to on the weekends?  You can also response to your dates answer. For instance, your date states:  I am sorry, I am enjoying our dates. It’s just that I am juggling 3 huge projects that are due next week. Your response. A man who has a lot on their plate. The key is to relax and don’t exert to much pressure. I am sure you will knock them out the park. What are you working on? 

In this example, you are encouraging your date and getting him to relax. Also, you’re shifting the focus back on to you. Also, you are letting your date know you’re interesting, caring and into him. That you can hold a conversation. 

Line 3  Anything pressing your mind? Let me hear it!  Then ask a random question (after their response). Ask questions that you want to know about your date. For instance, if your curious about what your date likes to do as a hobby  Example: What are your eyeballs glue to on the weekends? 

Line 4: Are you enjoying the food or (if you hear music playing) are you enjoying the music? Then ask a random question (after their response). Ask questions that you want to know about your date. For instance, if it’s a priority that your date is into the Arts, you can ask. Do you like the Arts? Oh, what is your favorite artist or what type of art do you get into? 

Line 5: Are you comfortable or feeling alright? This one is a winner. It shows your date that you truly care about them and have a big heart. It also gets their attention right back on you and gets the conversation going again. You can follow up with, “want to make sure you are enjoying your time.” Then you can insert how you are feeling.” I am enjoying my time, and this food is amazing. “Then you can be specific. For instance, if you’re eating chicken alfredo. Response: “This chicken alfredo is amazing, I love the ting of garlic and how creamy this sauce is. I am a sucker for alfredo sauce. How about you, what’s your go to sauce?  “

Line 6: Bring up a previous point in a conversation you want to know more about. Let’s go back to the name example with Tom, with Tom Hanks being the favorite. You can respond. So I am curious, why do you like Tom Hanks so much? Another response. Have you followed Tom throughout his whole career? 3rd: Do you see Tom hosting the Oscars? I want you to catch on to the theme. Ask questions you genuinely want to know about your date. If you know their passion and want to know more about it, ask? If you have a mutual interest, it’s even better. 

Here, we see both of you love Tom Hanks and his movies. There is so much to discuss. You may ask a question that will boost your date’s self esteem. For instance, what is something about his movies I don’t know. Also during your conversation,  if there is something you didn’t know or found interesting, bring it up.  For instance, you found out your date actually visited the Schwartz Toy store (where the film was shot). Here is a response to continue the convo. 

Your date:  “Oh, you visited the infamous store. You saw the piano in person. What notes were you playing” You: Yes, it was so much fun and I stayed on the c note and was flat the whole time. Tickling the ivories isn’t my thing lol. Have you ever been to NYC? “

You see how the conversation opens back up. In this example, your date was interested in your  visit and wanted to know more about your experience. You can follow up in so many directions.  

In this example, you asked your date if they ever visited NYC (where the film was shot). You can also go in a different direction. You can ask if they have ever visited a famous location from a movie. In addition, if you could visit any location in a film, what would it be? 

I am just setting forth examples to give you an idea on how to keep the conversation going. The key is to ask questions you genuinely want to know about your date. You don’t have to be witty the entire time, just yourself. If there is ever awkward silence, don’t acknowledge. Perhaps you’re enjoying your food and each other’s company. You can do subtle gestures such as smiling or a light laugh. You’re letting your date know you are enjoying the time. Also pay attention to your date’s body language. If they are looking in many different directions, sighing, slouched or feel disinterested, don’t panic. It’s not a reflection of you. You never know what is going on in a person’s private life. They may have pressing issues on their head that are nagging them. You can default to the area you are feeling ok/comfortable. You can also raise a joke to break the ice. Never take it to heart. It can also be a matter of their personality as well.  The key is not to be discouraged or come off as force. Just use one of these transitional lines and ease back into a conversation. 

If you feel that your date isn’t receptive, don’t take it to heart. Perhaps there isn’t a mutual interest. Just enjoy the rest of your meal. Don’t try to force the conversation as it will make it uncomfortable. It might not be a matter of chemistry. If the conversation isn’t going anywhere then you can end your date on a mutual understanding. End positively, let them know you enjoyed the time spent together and wish them all the best. Learn some interesting facts and know they will succeed in their endeavors. Never end on a bad note. You don’t want to have negative energy in your mind. Take it as a lesson learned and move on to the next. You didn’t waste your time and perhaps you gained a friend. The key is to keep your esteem held high and your confidence at bay. Never take things to heart. You’re dating, you’re trying to find that special person. It’s not easy. Just stay positive and keep an open mind. Just like your jobs and personal activities in life, you learn. You evaluate, see what you can do better. Trust, you will find that special someone, just enjoy the journey. 

How Start A Conversation In A Date Scenario-The Smile 

Nothing beats a nice smile. Especially on someone you’re extremely attracted to. Doesn’t your heart just melt, wooh. It’s a recipe for disaster and marriage! I don’t know what it is but it gets you everytime. It’s a combination of strength, humility, warmth, friendliness and sensuality. It’s a killer, and it’s great to have one. If you feel you don’t have a killer smile, practice in the mirror. Put on some tunes and smile. Pretend you are about to meet your dream date and you’re about to lock eyes. Show them your killer smile. To win ato the smile, make sure you have eye contact that communicates warmth and happiness. When you smile, you want to hit them with a big one. Make your date feel they are the only person you are happy to see. That they are the only person in the room. Grin from ear to ear. If you feel you have a goofy smile, try to work on a smile you are happy with it. It doesn’t have to be a big, a small subtle one is just as good. Just pick one you feel looks great on you and that makes you comfortable and go with it. The goal, not to have a forced one. Once you got it, you will be prep for the date. Have fun with it. Now onto the sample conversation. 

You: “Wow, has it gotten bright in here thanks to that smile. How many hearts have we melted over the years.”

Your date: “ I know how to light up the room in more ways than one. Thanks to you”

You:”Now that I have been blinded by your million dollar watts, how on earth can I see moving forward.” 

Your date “ I apologies but when it came to your beauty, I couldn’t help but light up. Let me guide you to the door madam.”

You: “Thank you sir. By the way, did you also have to take my breath away as well. What are you wearing.”

Your date: { Insert fragrance of choice}.I hope I don’t have to compete.” 

You: Don’t worry, there is no competition. Only that smile that I can’t get enough of, wink” 

Your date: “Well, I have met my competition. Your smile by far outpaces mine. Hopefully my smile and your smile will link together later, wink.”

You: “If you keep this up, it will happen. By the way, where are you whisking me away to?”

Your date: “ It’s a secret, I know you sure love. I hope you have a big appetite waiting for me.”

You: “That isn’t the only thing that is awaiting, I hope to have something juicy ahead”

Your date: “Well lets go, Ii am sure it will end with a bang.”

In this example, I highlight the art of forward flirting without being too overwhelming. If it’s a first or second date, it works. It’s a natural transition to complementing your date in a creative and fun way. It highlights how both recipients are attracted to each other and recognize chemistry. It hints at a kiss, without being direct. This is only an example and I know, if this is a first date, a kiss may not be on the mind. It depends, only you and your recipient will know.  The key is finding chemistry. Some find chemistry faster than others, it’s all about chemistry. We heard of those who have fallen in love at first sight and have had a long fulfilling marriage. For you lucky ones, it must be amazing feeling those sparks. For the rest, it may take time but your sparks will come. It’s not a race, as long as you find your special someone. It all begins with conversation. you some examples to start a conversation. Now I will present some more examples to have a great conversation on your date.

Great Conversation starters for a date 

• Food 
• What do you like to eat? 
• What is your favorite restaurant or spot?
• What is your favorite food? 
• Do you enjoy cooking? 
• What is an interesting food I should be eating?
• Any weird combinations I should be worried about?
• What did you snack on when you were young?
• What is your guilty pleasure? 
• What is a food that you get instantly at a carnival? 
• Favorite Dessert?
• Vanilla, Strawberry or Chocolate, can we debate?
• Coffee, Tea, Juice or Milk, what are we drinking for breakfast?
• What is your slang choice for food?
• Do you eat like a truck driver or more like a bird?
• What is a food you can’t stand?
• What holiday do you cherish because of the food? 
• A food you can’t stand?
• What is your go to dish that you love to cook?
• What is a food you are looking to try? 
• Who is the cook in your family?
• Are you intolerant to any food? 
• If you can travel to any place (just for the food)?
• What is the last food that you burned?
• Microwave or stove top, what are we choosing?
• What are we reaching first for in the freezer? 
• What are top 5 foods you need in your refrigerator ever day?

Childhood Memories 

• Where did you grow up?
• How where you in school?
• Where you an A student?
• Did you play sports/ band in school?
• What was your favorite on the playground?
• What was your favorite subject/teacher?
• What cartoons/shows did you watch when you were younger?
• What was your favorite snacks?
• Who was your idol growing up?
• What movies?
• Are you the spoiled kid?
• How were you with your siblings?
• Are you more of class clown or victorian?
• Did you travel?
• What did you want to be when you were a kid?
• What was most annoying/best about your siblings?
• Who did you like the best in your family?
• Do you have any favorite relatives?
• What was your favorite present?
• What was your favorite toy?

Travel

• Do you like to travel?
• Ever been anywhere internationally?
• What is your ideal vacation spot(s)?
• Where have you been on vacation(s)?
• Do you have any favorite sites you would like to see?
• What is your favorite mode of transportation?
• Do you like to travel during the fall, summer, winter or spring?
• Are you a daredevil or more reserved?
• What is on your bucket list to accomplish?
• What are 5 places you would like to travel to and why?
• Ever been on a road trip?
• Any crazy travel stories?
• Do you like to travel alone or with friends/family?
• Ever been on a cruise? Would you like to be on a cruise?
• How do you fair with water?
• Are you more of a beach person or great outdoors?
• What’s your choice, City or Rural?
• Ever been camping?
• What is your favorite activity(s) you like to do when you travel?

Sports

• Favorite Team/ player/ coach?
• Do you watch college?
• Do you like international teams?
• Your favorite growing up?
• Did you play any growing up?
• Do you tune into the big games (SuperBowls, NBA Finals, World series)?
• Any favorite SuperBowls? Any favorite halftime shows? How do you feel about the commercials?
• All time favorite legends
• Any sporting event your dying to see?
• Any cool merchandise or memoribila do you own?
• Any favorite moments in history?
• How often do you watch games?
• Do you like to watch games with friends/family?
• Do you watch games at home or when you go out?
• Any sports you are thinking you of getting into?
• Can you guess what I am fan of?
• I want you to guess, what kind of sports do you think I like?
• Do you like the Olympics? If so, winter or summer?
• Favorite Olympics?
• Team you can’t stand?
• If you could be a coach of this player or team, who would it be?
• Favorite movie based on sports?
• Favorite sports star that turn actor?
• Favorite play of all time?

Work 

• What do you do for a living?
• What do you love about your job?
• What are your goals?
• How long have you been in the profession?
• What are some of your achievements?
• Where do you see yourself in five years?

Family

• Do you have a big, medium or small family?
• Are your family close knit or distant?
• Who is your favorite in the family?
• How many siblings? Where are you in the hierarchy (youngest, middle, oldest)?
• Do you have a favorite sibling?
• Are you daddy’s girl or mamma boy?
• What is your family know for?
• Who is the head of your family/the responsible one?
• What does your family do the most together?
• How is your family around the holidays?

Holidays

• What is your favorite holiday?
• What is your favorite food around the holidays?
• Any holidays you cant stand?
• A holiday you’re the happiest?
• Do you celebrate all the holidays?
• Any favorite memories of the holiday’s?
• Do you travel around the holidays?
• Have you travel during holidays? If so, where?
• Any classic childhood holiday memories?
• Have your holiday favorites change since childhood?
• Any favorite movies, music or sports you love during the holidays?
• Any favorite holiday recipes?
• Are you more festive around the holidays or laidback?
• A holiday you can’t wait to celebrate?
• Do you like to decorate around the holiday’s?
• What bake goods are we downing during the holiday’s?
• If you can celebrate this holiday more than twice a year, what would it be?
• Do you like to dress up during the holiday’s?
• Do you participate in particular holiday events?

Hobbies

• What are your favorite hobbies?
• Any hobbies you are interested in getting into?
• Are you more of an extrovert or introvert?
• How often do you conduct these hobbies? 
• Do you like to conduct hobbies on the weekend?
• Do you like to conduct hobbies solo or with friends?
• Any crazy hobbies I should know about?
• Any hobbies you think are weird or afraid of trying?
• Do you like to go to museums, theaters, amusement parks?
• Do you workout? 
• Favorite workout routine?
• How long have you been working out?
• Do you like to stroll at the park or the beach?
• What is something you have been doing since a kid? 
• What is a hobby you would like to do when you get older?
• Do you like board or video games?
• Any favorite games you like to play? 
• Are you a competitive  or laidback player?
• Any hidden talents?
• What hobby do you feel makes you more creative?
• Do you do any volunteer/humanitarian work? 
• Any recreational activities are you working on?

Entertainment 

• Any favorite movies?
• What’s your favorite music?
• What are some of your favorite songs/movies?
• Any favorite music artists/actors/actresses?
• All time favorite album/movies?
• If you can rank you all time favorite 5 movies, what would it be?
• If you can rank your favorite top 3 albums, what would it be?’
• Any favorite holiday movies/songs?
• Any favorite tv shows?
• Do you prefer movies or tv shows?
• Any favorite musicals?
• Ever met any celebrities?
• What celebrities are your idols?
• If you can pick any celebrity to play your life story, who would it be?
• Ever been to Disney World?
• Any favorite amusement parks you love?
• What is your favorite amusement park ride?
• .Favorite Disney, Nickelodeon or Looney Tunes Characters?
• Are you into comics?
• Favorite Marvel or DC movie/characters?
• What is your favorite Marvel/DC scene?
• Did you side with Thanos?
• What upcoming Marvel/DC film are you excited to see?
• A comic character you most identify with?
• Who is your favorite/villian/anti-hero/or superhero?
• Been to any concerts?
• A musician you would love to see in concert one day?
• Have you been to any film/art/music festivals?
• How far would you travel to an event?
• Who would be your dream line up for a concert?
• Who would be your dream line up for a film?
• If you could switch characters in a film, who would it be?
• What is your favorite genre of movie, action, horror, suspense, westerns, mystery, or romantic?
• If you pick this destination to let go for one day what would it be? Vegas, NYC, Atlanta, Dallas or Miami?
• Who is your celebrity crush?
• Favorite game shows? 
• Do you like daytime or nighttime tv?
• What are your favorite morning shows?
• Who are we watching for our late night entertainment?
• Are you more of a dancer or a listener at the table? 

Random

• Are you a night owl or morning bird?
• Are you left handed or right handed?
• Are you a social animal or an indoor robin?
• What is your usual mood?
• What makes you ticked off more than anything?
• What gets you in a good mood?
• How do you start your day off?
• How do you end the day?
• Are you a neat freak or a messy free-spirit?
• Do you speak more than one language?
• How would someone describe you?
• If you can have a different name, what would it be?
• What kind of sleeper are you? Lay on side, back or chest?
• Are you cold blooded or warm blooded?
• What season do you prefer the most?
• What is your sign?
• When is your birthday month?
• What has gotten you in the most trouble?
• What do you believe is your greatest achievement?
• Do you enjoy where you are living now?
• What are some of your favorite places to shop?
• Are you more of a bargain animal or luxury warrior?
• Are you more of a bossy person or more of a team player?
• What is your dream life?
• What is on your music playlist?
• Who is the last person you called? 
• Who is the most dependable person you can think of?
• Do you like to solve complicated or modest issues?
• Are you a funny bone or reserve warrior?
• Are you an animal lover? If so, who is your favorite? 
• What are some daring things you would like to try?
• Are you more timid or a bold warrior?
• Do you feel that you’re sensitive?
• How is your handwriting? 
• Are you a computer geek or a book worm?
• How is your driving style? 
• What car do you drive? 
• Favorite mode of transportation?
• Are you into fashion/beauty? What is your favorite styles/brands?
• What are some of your favorite brands?
• Favorite books? Favorite authors?
• What do you like to do on your days off?
• What do you like to do in your down time? 
• Are you a phone person or more social media?
• Your views on social media?
• Do you have more of a glamorous or sporty style?
• How do you like the dating life?
• Any dating fiascos I should be aware of?
• You’re first impression of me?
• What type of personality do you think I am?
• Can you guess my sign?
• Do you feel that we are headed towards a second date?
• If we go on a second date, where would you love it to be?
• Why are you single? Tip { I would insert a compliment before hand} For example, as handsome  and loving as you’re, I can’t believe no one has scooped you up. I guess that makes me lucky! The million dollar question I have to ask, why are you single?
• How do you handle heartbreak?
• Are you looking for a long term commitment?
• What do you feel is most attractive about me?
• What does your dream wedding look like?
• Where would you like to have your Honeymoon?
• Do you feel like you are a good catch?
• Do you aspire to get married one day? Kids?
• Do you like public signs of affection or more private one?
• Do you feel that you are more of a romantic person or reserved?
• Do you like to be showered with love or do you like to do the showering?
• Do you like to be showered with gifts or affection?
• Are you ready to settle down?
• Do you like chivalry or think it’s not necessary?
• What do you look for in a partner? 

Tip: Can incorporate flirting. For example “ I am enjoying this evening, thanks to you.I hope to spend many more of them with you.  My curious senses has to ask, do I fit your criteria of who you look for in a partner? 

• Do you feel that you’re passionate?
• What is your kissing style?
• What do you love most about being in a relationship?
• Do you feel you’re wild in bed or more reserved?

Tip: Only use this line if both you and your date are open and free spirits. If you can tell your date is open to anything, then fire away. It’s a fun and unexpected question. I wouldn’t use it on the first or second date (unless the first rule applies). It’s a sensitive question to many and you don’t want to offend. Only if you feel it is right. It has to be according to you. It also has to come up naturally in the conversation. If it hits the steamy spot, you can be creative with the saying. For instance, you can state, you have bedroom eyes, I know you can drive someone wild in the bed. Am I right? With this approach, you don’t come off offensive but you can probe (if this is an area that is important to you). For many of us, it’s a way to break tension and bring fun to the date. Get your date out the shell and be open in expressing their sexuality. It’s a private conversation for two, no harm. Only if there is a mutual interest. 

Disclaimer: Strong Sexual Content Ahead!

Sensual lines- When The Date Is Steamy 

For some of us, our dates can take an interesting path. When there is strong sexual chemistry, the atmosphere just changes. The language gets more seductive. It’s ok, as long as it’s mutual. If it goes there and you don’t know what to say, here is some lines for an amazing sensual conversation. I just want to circle back to sitting side by side with your partner. You want to have intimacy and privacy. Also, incorporate touch along with your saying. Set your eyes in a seductive manner, examine their face, go over their eyes, every part of your face. Lock eyes with their lips, that tells you that you want to eventually want to go in for the kiss. You’re letting your partner know you’re attracted. That your words back that up. Also, you’re attracted emotionally. Let them know. If it’s their laugh, their personality, their little quirks, let them know. Tell them seductively in their ear. Whisper softly in their ear. Use touch. Softly brush over their back, shoulder and hands. Words, touch and eye communication all working together. Amazing experience! Let’s get into some lines. 

What turns you on the most? 

Tip: Yes, this is a bold question but given the situation, can spice up the date. You have to gauge the date. If you notice that your date is very open and not shy, then you can give this question a whirl. If the date has heated up, you can throw this line in. It can be tastefully done without being too forward. I know, we don’t want to come off as just wanting the bedroom goodies. That is a big no. That is why you have to monitor the date and if you are playful (like myself) it comes off as good nature/fun. You are not alluding to bad ulterior motives at all. It all depends on the situation. I would use this line when it’s serious. More of when you’re about to jump into or into a relationship. If this is your first date, I would steer away. You can flirt but don’t come off as wanting something other than companionship. I will give an example where this can come off tastefully done. 

Situation, you’re on your fifth date and have begun a relationship.

Your date: “ It’s gotten a little too warm in here thanks to you. I can’t take all this. I am standing on high alert right now. 

You: “Well you are in great competition. One glimpse of your smile and my heart has been doing nothing but crossovers. Since we are both a little bothered, I have to ask, what turns you on the most? 

As we can see, this is a situation where the date has gotten a little steamy. It’s clear that both recipients have strong sexual chemistry and are not ashamed to let each other know. This is a situation where you can throw in sensual lines (that are tasteful). There is nothing wrong as long as you both are reciprocal of the exchange. If you ever get to this point and don’t know what to say, look no further. Use this line and the lines for inspiration. As previously mentioned, practice? You can also use these lines in the bedroom. People underestimate the power of words in intimacy. It’s just as powerful as the physical touch. Let your partner know how much you love them, how you adore them, what turns you on, how you fulfill all their deep desires. Go all on your partner, don’t be shy. We all are sexual beings, we have power in us. I am here to draw it out. I want to reach those who feel that they are awkward. I want to let you know, you aren’t. You just aren’t tapping into your inner sexual prowess. You have it, let’s let it out! I want you to have an enjoyable time in the bedroom. We were meant for intimacy, the point is to adore your partner at every moment. Have fun, be daring, be open to try different things from time to time. You will have a fulfilling intimate relationship.

 I don’t know about you, but I enjoy flirting and  foreplay. It’s basically my favorite part. Nothing turns you on better than both! When paired with the right words, it’s even better. It can be the start to having a great experience. There is nothing like the tingles and perpetual butterflies that you feel. Get into talking sensually to your partner, it will make a whirl of difference.  Here are some liners you can use to level up the intimacy. 

• Line: “ I know your ride has plenty of horsepower, are you ready to experience the better ride”
• Line: “ I am happy to raise the excitement in more ways than one”
• Line: “ Your tongue is tied now, wait until later”
• Line: “ I can’t wait to get ahold of your package. I am sure to deliver right on time”
• Line:   “As you’re crafted like fine art, are you prepared to get messy?”
• Line: “ I can feel the excitement rising, are you ready to explore with me?”  
• Line: “ I see something large and hard is at full attention, I know how to make it harder” 
• Line  “ I am have been tracing your eye, lips and hands all night, I can’t wait to explore the rest” 
• LIne: “ I can’t wait till we end up in every room tonight, let alone, the finish, wink”
• Line: “ Don’t put up too much of a fight when we unite tonight”
• Line: “ I am enjoying this nice Spring air, it’s not the only spring I will be wearing out”
• Line: “ I can’t believe all this goodness my mouth has been filled with, I am pretty sure more is to come”
• Line: “ I am ready to explore every part of you, can you handle it.” 
• Line: “ You really know how to get my juices going, I can’t wait until you taste them.”
• Line: “ I know it’s hard, I am ready to make it better.” 
• Line: “ I know you’re happy to see, it’s even better because I am happy to please.”
• Line: “ The rush of water will have nothing on us” 
• Line:  “You think you can’t handle it now, wait until the shoes come off” 

Commentary 

These are a few lines that you can use to turn up the date. I am sure to have a followup article with more. Just wanted to give you an idea of what you can say. They all come off subtle with a hint of being bold. It’s all meant to be playful and add spice to the date. If you have never had a steamy conversation, practice. You can do a hypothetical situation with your dream date. Examine yourself in the mirror. Are you coming off awkward, are you trying too hard. The key is to come off naturally. Only you know what works for your sexuality. It’s up to you to find that out. It has to mesh with your personality. Some of us are a little more bolder and open. That is fine. For those who aren’t but want to explore it on their dates, find your comfort zone. If your more toned down and less raunchy, use more romantic language. If you’re a little more on the wild side, use it. It has to come from you. I am just giving you examples. What works for me may not work for you. What I am doing is giving you some ideas that work. How you can use them to continue a conversation. The key is to be you. I can’t stress this enough.  It’s an intimate exchange between you and your date. Use if appropriate. If you want to experiment, go for it. You have one life to live. You aren’t a prude if you don’t. It’s all about finding the connection, not the bedroom. That comes later. The key is finding someone you can connect with emotionally more than just physically. Life is more than sex. Yes, it’s great, but it’s more than it. Romance and love is greater. Spending quality time with the one you love. May it be traveling, going to games, amusement parks, museums, shopping, or deciding on the next purchase, these are all valuable. It’s all about balance. One part should never override everything else, it will fail. Now, don’t get me wrong, for some of those who have sexless marriages, that is fine. You and your partner have a mutual understanding on this. The key is balance. The overriding factor should be love, true love. Not superficial, but real love. You love you partner through the good and definitely the bad. You are willing to compromise and love despite all the nuances. You see the two of you growing old together and loyal to the end. This is what life is all about. 

What To Do If You Have Grown Bored In The Bedroom

Now, if you feel that you have grown bored in the bedroom, there is nothing wrong in spicing it up. The key is intimacy. When you’re intimate, it’s love making. It’s not about satisfying our needs. It’s about the union with your partner. You’re expressing your love towards one another. If this has grown cold, perhaps there are some deep-rooted issues going on. Are you experiencing financial issues, issues at work, family, or personal life. Has something shifted your course of track. That can play a part. Do you feel that you are doing the same position too much? Do you enjoy the position(s)? Are you lacking confidence? Is it physical, has your stamina gone down? Are you physically feeling like you’re not keeping up like you use to? Has it become a routine? Ask yourself these questions and address them right away. This is not what you want to happen. Every interaction should be special. You can’t wait to be in union with your partner. It should be exciting every time. The key is to have love in mind. The desire to tear your partner apart. You can’t wait to explore them, be intimate. Hear them laugh, smile, moan, talk sensually, feel their touch and embrace their scent. This never gets old.  

Explore Other Sex Positions- Don’t Be Afraid 

To combat these issues, explore other positions. Never be afraid but explore ones that you both mutually agree to. It’s ok to experiment but if it’s not for you, don’t. There are kazillion positions to explore, pick some, try them out. Outside of missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy style, froggy style, I can go on. They are out there. Perhaps one that stands out is oral sex. 

Oral Pleasure- It Goes Down 

For both genders, this is a wonderful addition. You are one on one with your partner’s treasured area. It’s an area to be adored, explored and loved! You have to be open and willing to please your partner. There is nothing seeing your partner shake, grunt and moan in excitement. Believe me, it’s a two-way street. You become excited as well. For the ladies, when you go down on your man, eye contact is key. You are becoming intimate with your partner. You are letting them know (through your eyes) you will be pleasing them in so many ways. That you’re about to use your tongue, hands and mouth (steer away from the teeth) and about using them to the path of heaven. Fall in love with this area, adore it, ravish it, have your partner’s eyes crossing all over the place. I can’t stress this enough; you have to be in love with your partner. It makes a whirl a difference. Be creative but never aggressive. It’s a sensitive area. 

For the men, yes, your tongue, hands and mouth are also the path to heaven. When you’re exploring your partner, be willing to explore all orifices of her vagina. Yes, the clitoris is the spot. Adore this part. Tease your partner a little, trust, this makes a difference. Why you’re exploring the treasure box, use your hands to caress her stomach, legs, thighs, buttocks, hands. You will have a recipe for success. Lock eyes with her, speak to her sensually in between, kiss her parts, just ravish it. Believe me, you will have an amazing experience. 

You can also add different aids to the mix. Whip cream, fruit, frosting, flavored lubricants, lotions, and massage creams. You ever fed your partner strawberries and whip cream while whispering in their ear. Enough said, I am dead, lol.  Never estimate the power of massage. It works and nothing like exploring your partner’s body with your hands. That leads to the next section, foreplay. 

Foreplay Is The Winner- Knock This Out The Park 

In life, there is a part where we need to prepare beforehand. Foreplay is the master in the bedroom. It gets both you and your partner ready for the experience. If you can master foreplay, you’re a winner in the bedroom. You have to be comfortable in exploring your partner and pleasing. Also, it should be pleasurable for you. It turns you on. 

To be a master, you have to get used to exploring. I am talking with your hands, tongue, and your words. You know your partner’s spot. You know how to get them going. You know how to seduce with your eyes, your tongue and your mouth. You love to tease, you know how to take command. You know how to take control and show plenty of love. You are the master. Your partner can’t help but to succumb to your every command. Nothing but love all around. So how do you become a master? It’s all about the touch. You never want to be over aggressive but loving. You are truly enjoying it, nothing is fake. 

Trace your partner’s body with your fingers, hands, mouth and tongue. Talk sensually to them. Let them know you enjoy every curve and every muscle. Whisper in their ear, bite on it, lick it, moan in it, let’s level it up. Trace your tongue to the neck. Nibble on it, bite it, suck on it, leave butterfly kisses on it. There is nothing like the neck during foreplay. You can also work your way to the collar bone. Then to the chest, stomach and thighs. 

Tease the treasure box and the golden rod. Caress, lightly blow, massage, rub, lightly lick these areas. Don’t forget the hands. I love the hands. They are meant to be suck. Each one of them individually while you look your partner seductively in the eye. Massage them and caress them. Leave love bites and tongue traces all over your partner’s body. 

For the guys, suck on your woman’s breast. Woman, you can do the same on your man. Makeout with them, adore and treasure them. Lightly caress and massage. Engulf your hands around them. Massage the nipples, stimulate them until they’re hard. Do light nibbles. Lick, suck and trace your tongue all around. You will have your woman in extreme pleasure. Leave kisses around them at the end. From there, work your way back up to the neck and mouth. You can do the reverse and go to the stomach, treasure box and thighs. Can’t leave out the feet. Suck the toes. Lick and caress all over.  

Squeeze their butt, do some light to aggressive spanks. Nothing will get them going better. In the interim, you should be speaking dirty to them. Whatever you say, you have to back up. If you say you’re about to have their juices exploding all over the place, you have to deliver. Don’t pressure yourself but we know it’s the overall goal. To please and be pleased in return. We are talking about lovemaking. 

Let’s not forget an oldie but goodie, the makeout. Go to town on your partner’s lips. Start with light pecks, tongue traces around the lips and then go in. Get the tongues swirling. Leaving gasping for more. Get them to moan. Your hands should be exploring each other at the same time. All up and down each other’s back, spine, necks and arms. Just all over. The tongue Olympics is amazing. It’s essential in getting you going.

So I hope I gave you enough to be a master at foreplay. For me, it’s my number one favorite. Sometimes foreplay is enough. I love exploring every part and bringing pleasure. It’s just my nature to bring my best in the bedroom. I want my partner to want more. Another round is what I like to hear. I am not here for sex but love making. It’s deep to me. If I don’t have a connection, I am not on top of you period. I want you to have the same attitude. Don’t waste your time in the bedroom. You have to have a deep and intimate connection. I don’t care if you get bored, it will go away. Nothing can break a true connection. You will be willing to compromise and come up with a solution. Try somewhere or something different. No matter what, that bond isn’t broken. The boredom will go away and you be back to a healthy, fun and active lifestyle! Touche! 

Star In Your Favorite Role- Role Playing

In addition, you can incorporate role playing. Nothing wrong in dressing up in different roles. Perhaps having your man dress up as a police officer, fireman, cowboy, or soldier may provide a thrill. Incorporating different scenarios can be the necessary spice in your life. 

Never Be Afraid Of The Pole -Pole Dancing 

A little pole dancing to your bedroom, you bet. Nothing is better than rhythm. Throw on some tunes and get to moving. Show your partner love with a lap dance. Give him all the attention. Move your body sensually, tease their region, move seductively all around. Have them draw their eyes to you. Have them scan your body, get them in the mood. Before you know it, you will be having those springs bouncing. The key is to please your partner and have fun. If you never done it before, practice. Now, don’t go running to Lowe’s for a pole. If you’re down for it, go for it but not a necessity. I don’t expect you to sliding down a pole. A nice one on one session is good enough. The key is to please your partner and build intimacy. You will also get a good workout as well. Have fun and bring pole dancing to your life! 

Explore Different Areas -Add Spice To Your Life 

Also, you may explore different areas. Trust, areas do matter. You have the shower, the kitchen, dining room, basement, hotel, you have places, explore them. A change of atmosphere can add spice.  For the public (beach, boat, car or park), I only endorse it if you have complete privacy. Never want to exploit public indecency. We want to keep your intimacy private. 

You Can Have Sex Through The Phone 

You may also want to explore digital sex, phone sex or sexting. This works wonders. It adds some great spice, especially when it’s unexpected. It’s a great way to explore creativity and way with words. It can knock the boredom out of your life.

Conclusion 

As we are about to be halfway through 2025, I want everyone moving forward to have an amazing love life. There is someone out there waiting for you. I know you will find them. When you do, I want you to be prepared to have amazing dates. It’s all about chemistry and communication. You have to know what you want in a partner. It’s mostly companionship, someone to hold you accountable, or more a friend? Only you know. You have to sit with yourself and find that out. Once you know, then you can start finding that someone. If it’s on dating sites or out and about, you have your game plan played out, all you have to do is execute it. The key to a fulfilling relationship is being yourself, honesty and communication. If you keep to this, you shouldn’t have any problems. Yes, your partner will have flaws and will have conflicts, it’s up to you to work through them. You both have to be on the same page and willing to work through the bad times. That is where your relationship can really strengthen. It’s all about communication. Never be weak or timid in your relationship. Primarily if you’re a woman. In my family, the woman is the boss. Setting the powerbase as you may be. Now don’t get me wrong, the men aren’t weak, it’s just the women in my family have that independent mentality. Separate from this, I already have this. I have a big heart and a strong romantic interest but I also don’t play. I am very independent and like to set my powerbase. I am not afraid to let you know (in a nice way) if something isn’t right. I am not going to be passive at all. I would want that in return. Honesty is the best policy. Also, I will let you know everything. I am a one man woman, very loyal and will spoil you death. I am also independent and like my space, I am not clingy and value your privacy. I just ask you to be transparent about things. If you don’t like my attitude or the way things are going, speak up. We can work it out. I am the type that is very upfront in the beginning, there are no surprises. I want you to be the same. Never be timid going on a date or relationship. Pay attention to your intuition and please be safe out here. I know we are all adults but please protect yourself. Diseases are still rampant. I don’t care how hot it gets make sure you and your partner is protected. Don’t go all the way without protection. If you’re that type, carry some protection in your wallet or bag. That way, you don’t encounter any welcome surprises. Your health comes first. I get it, the heat of the moment can be something, but it’s not worth your life. Be smart and be on alert. I don’t care how good the person looks or charming, 

I will be on alert. I can wait. I want to make sure there is chemistry and you are the one. There are many wolfs in sheepskin out there. You have to be careful. Anyone can say anything on a date, it’s up to you to be on alert. Yes, I want you to have fun but also protect yourself. I don’t want you to get hurt in the process. No matter what your hormones are telling you, be smart. Think before you act. Really get to know the person. Drill the person, observe there body language, look out for red flags, and pay attention to intuition. You can do it. 

I hope this ending hasn’t turn anyone away from dating. I just want you to be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt. The purpose of this post is to have a fun dating life. Giving you pointers to help you in the dating process if communication is an issue. I also want to bring realism into as well. It’s not all roses. We live in a world with all different type of personalities. Some good and some are bad. I know you are good, but you are about to go on a date with someone you don’t know. We all have hormones and different motives, I want you to be protected. There are too many cases where people are losing their lives for innocent mistakes. I don’t want you to be part of them. If you stick to these tips, you will be ok. Only you can gauge. Always let others know where you will be on a date. May it be a friend, family member or close associate, let them know your whereabouts. Have them send texts, asking if you are ok, how everything is going. When you encounter strangers, you have to be on double guard. Be weary of your surroundings. Never try to be completely alone with someone. Stay where it is well lit, let them know you have overprotective brothers or dad who always keep tabs, and you have friends that are nearby. Also, make sure your phone is fully charged, have authorities powered into your phone and portable phone charger. Let your date know that you are never alone, there is always someone watching your back. This will steer them away from any foul play. Also, very key, watch your drink. Never, ever leave it unattended. I don’t care if it’s just water, juice or tea, don’t leave it unattended. That includes your food. Wait to go to the restroom before or after you eat. Date rape is still real. You don’t want anything to slip into your food/drink. If your date tries to take you to a secluded area, steer him to the neartest gas station where you can call the authorities. Never be alone with your date. Always somewhere well lit, people around, and you have easy access to leave. If you notice anything alarming, have someone on standby. From the way they lock the doors and the way they talk, call the authorities. Always know where you are going, you can ask before hand so you have your bearings. You can always throw someone living nearby. For instance, I have a cousin who is always walking who lives on Wilson Street. It would be funny if we walked into him. This lets your date know not to pull any fast ones. You have to be strong, smart and on alert. It’s not about being dolled up, enjoying a good meal and good time, it also means being smart. 

I hope these tips help you. I am sure to have a followup article with more dating tips.I know we are going to have an amazing year ahead. Let’s enjoy our time on this earth and meet the love of our lives. It will be amazing! When you do, you better let me know. I am interested to hear your experience. 

How has your dating experience been? Any dating tips that you would like to share? What are your fears/interests in dating? Sound off in the comments!